Requesting Effective Feedback—Effectively
Ask And (I Hope) Ye Shall Receive
The time is nigh. I hit month-of-December critical mass yesterday when—although my holiday shopping had been done since November—I woke up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night sure I had not purchased enough or the right gifts for everyone and bought a whole second slate of gifts. This happens every year without fail, no matter that I tell myself on Black Friday that I’m not going to do it this year, and is my least-favorite holiday tradition. Also, yesterday I put my holiday cards in the mail. They’re not late because they’re actually New Year’s cards. December Catherine (who had a busy work month and also had COVID) thanks September Catherine (who ordered the cards) for thinking ahead.
Okay, enough about me and my woes.
Today’s Shelf Life is about how to request feedback effectively. Just like it says on the tin. I’ve written Shelf Lifes before on how to give feedback and on how to use the feedback you get and on how to recognize feedback when it comes in unusual forms. And other stuff on feedback-seeking, feedback-getting, and so on. This one is about how to issue a feedback request in such a way that the person you’re asking for feedback is (1) likely to give you feedback at all and (2) likely to give you what you’re looking for in feedback.
I’m primarily talking about seeking feedback on writing but the advice herein can actually be used for seeking feedback on all kinds of things.
Feedback is a broad term that encompasses a lot of things. Generally, I’m using it to mean reactions or responses to something you have done or created that gives you information you can use for improvement. Feedback includes both praise (positive comments on what has been done well) and criticism (comments on what has not been done well). Both of those can be used to improve your work in the future. Do more of what was praised and use the criticism to shore up your weaker points.
Feedback also includes many different parts of the writing and editing process. For instance, you may receive feedback from any of the following people:
Critique partners
Beta readers
Copyeditors and proofreaders
Agents
Acquisitions editors
Friends and family
Paying readers
And others. Feedback might come in the form of a direct communication like someone telling you (in writing or verbally) what they thought; in the form of comments and redlines embedded in your manuscript; or in the form of a Goodreads, Amazon, or other public review. (And others.)
Blanket unkind comments like “this is terrible” or “quit writing forever” are not useful feedback. They do give information and are a reaction or response to something you did or created, but they can’t be used for improvement. Quitting is never part of improving. I don’t feel the same way about blanket positive/kind comments like “amazing writing!” They’re not useful for improving in specific ways but if they encourage you to keep writing they will lead to improvement indirectly, because practice is how you get better at stuff.
Writers are going to get feedback on our writing no matter what we do, unless we keep our writing private and never, ever share it with anyone. Which is a perfectly valid thing to do with your writing if that’s your goal. There’s no obligation ever to share writing with the world. A lot of people want to but not everybody does.
If you put your writing out there for others to read, you will receive feedback. If you sell your writing on Amazon, customers may leave reviews. They may rate your writing on Goodreads. If you post it to a site like WattPad or RoyalRoad, users will leave comments. People you know will tell you what they thought. People you don’t know will tell you what they thought. Even if you’re not looking for and don’t want feedback, you will receive some.
The feedback you receive isn’t always the kind you want to get, though, and you don’t always get it at a time when it would be helpful for you to improve that specific piece of writing—like before you publish it.
If you want to get specific, actionable feedback on your writing before you release it to the general public, your best bet is to ask for it at the right time, from the right people, and in the right way.
The Right Time
Thank you; “Right Now” by Van Halen is now playing on a loop in my head. Right now isn’t always the right time to ask for feedback but sometimes it is.
The correct time to ask for feedback depends upon the type of feedback you are asking for. You might solicit feedback on an incomplete manuscript, on a finished but unpolished draft, or on your final, polished manuscript. When you ask depends on what you’re asking for.
As a rule of thumb, the earlier in the process you seek feedback on your writing, the broader and less specific that feedback will be. If you work with a critique partner who reviews longer works chapter by chapter and reads before a manuscript is done, you are likely to get big picture feedback on things like story direction. Hopefully, by the time you have a finished draft for someone to read, story direction is hammered out and they might be looking at slightly finer points like plot, character, dialogue, pacing, organization, and stuff like that.
If you’re sending a manuscript out for feedback like editing once it’s been revised and polished, you’re going to receive feedback on still finer points like language. A proofreader, who reviews your near-final proof before it goes to the printer, will use the lightest possible hand and provide feedback on things like typos, formatting errors, and any egregious mistakes that really must be resolved before press time.
Request feedback at the appropriate stage of writing, revision, and editing for the type of feedback you want to get. Don’t ask for advice on story direction, resolving plot holes, or making your characters more round when you’ve got your proof near-final and ready for the printer. What are you even going to do with that feedback at that point?
If you’re seeking feedback on the foundational elements of your writing (story, plot, character, setting, point-of-view, pace, et cetera), ask before you finalize your manuscript and begin the editing process. This can be at any point before you pat yourself on the back and tell yourself “okay, this is as good as I can make it.” That might mean you solicit feedback on each chapter as it is complete, or that you send the manuscript out as soon as you type “the end,” or that you send it out after a couple of rounds of revision on your own.
If you’re seeking editorial feedback from an agent, publisher, or professional editor (either in advance of submission to a publisher or ahead of self-publishing), you should seek that feedback when you feel your manuscript has been revised and polished to the extent that you are able—or willing—to do on your own.
The Right People
I’ve talked about this some in Identify Your Beta Readers and Look for the Helpers, which I encourage you to review. When you’re asking for feedback, you have to make sure you’re asking the right people. Who the right people are depends upon what kind of feedback you want to receive. For instance, do you want to receive an encouraging pat on the back? Affirmation that you’re heading in the right direction with your writing? Constructive criticism to improve your manuscript and use in the future? Advice on what parts of your manuscript are weak and should be cut? You’re probably not going to get all those from the same people.
The biggest cheerleaders in your life are probably not professional editorial personnel unless I am a personal part of your life, as I’m the biggest cheerleader for the people I know, and also an editor. But anyway most of us are maybe not close personal friends or family with an editor. If you want to get a pat on the back and encouragement without any constructive criticism, you might want to send the manuscript to one of your biggest cheerleaders to read instead of, for instance, sending it out to a professional editor.
This is a totally appropriate thing to want, by the way. Every single person at every single stage of writing doesn’t want to receive a list of things to fix and improve every time. Sometimes you just want someone friendly to read your stuff, as a reader and a person who cares about you, and give you the thumbs up. This doesn’t mean you’re not taking your writing seriously enough. Encouragement is important.
That said, if you want feedback that is more constructive or objective, you might need to go outside your immediate social circle and look for people you aren’t as close to, people who won’t be shy about being more honest with you and delivering constructive criticism. This is not to say you can’t get constructive and specific criticism from people who are close to you—you totally can, especially if you ask the right way!—but it’s often easier to get honest feedback out of people who are less emotionally invested in your mood.
The Right Way
This is the most important piece and there are two important parts to it, which are:
Ask for exactly what you want (specificity)
Specify when you would like to have the feedback (deadline)
Easier bullet first: Be clear about your deadline with the person you’re asking for feedback, whether they’re a friend doing you a favor, a stranger you’re swapping betas with, or a professional (or anyone else). You don’t have to be aggressive about it (“I need all your comments by noon on March 12”), particularly if you’re not paying, but you should give your reader an understanding of the timeline you have in mind.
If you’re working with someone doing you a favor, work with them to come up with a timeframe instead of dictating. Ask them how much time they think they need to read and prepare some thoughts:
Do you think you can read and let me know your thoughts by next Tuesday?
Give them some context for when you want the feedback:
I’m thinking about submitting to a contest in April, so I’d love to have your feedback by late March.
If you’re working with someone you’re paying, you should set a clear deadline that works for both parties and you should expect the person you’re working with to meet that deadline unless something unforeseen comes up and to let you know well ahead of the deadline if they need an extension.
Whether you’re working with a pro or with a volunteer, avoid saying things like “just whenever you have a chance” or “I’m not on a timeline, no rush.” That can send your request straight right to the bottom of their life priority list and you may find it hard to ask for status updates if you told them they can do it any time between now and when heck freezes over.
On specificity, the more the better. Be as clear as possible about what you’re asking your reader to do. Are you asking them to read it from the perspective of:
A friend or family member who supports you?
A reading member of your target audience?
A critique partner or editor?
Further, do you want to receive:
A thumbs-up or thumbs-down, yea-or-nay, would- or would-not-recommend?
A summary of their thoughts?
Detailed notes with specific areas for improvement?
In-line edits and embedded comments in the manuscript?
What you don’t want to do is just hand over your manuscript and tell them, “Read this when you get around to it and let me know if you liked it.” You’re almost certainly not going to receive anything actionable from that request—if you receive anything at all. If your reader does the bare minimum to fulfill that request you will have a response like “I liked it” or “I did not like it.” Better: “Can you read this sometime this or next month and let me know your thoughts on the plot? I want to make sure it’s tight and engaging throughout and get feedback on the pace.” A reader doing the bare minimum to fulfill this specific request is going to give you something more useful and actionable than “I liked it.”
Finally, whoever you are working with—whether it’s your closest friend or a paid pro—let them know the tone with which you want to receive feedback if you have a preference. It can be as simple as saying “be gentle, please!” or “go ahead, do your worst.” Just make sure you’re ready to receive what you’re asking for.
A lot of us—maybe all of us?—when we ask for honest, open feedback, are quietly hoping the feedback will be all positive and maybe if there’s a negative comment it’ll be something like “this was too good and now I’m ruined for all other stories.” That’s not realistic, though, and that doesn’t help improve the craft if that’s all the feedback you get (or will accept). What I’m getting at is, don’t tell an editor to “do their worst” expecting them to come back and tell you you’re the greatest prose stylist since Nabokov. I mean, maybe you are and maybe they will come back with that comment. But more likely, they will come back with a lot of serious editorial feedback and if you were expecting an encouraging pat on the head, you may have a hard time processing what you got.
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